Monday, March 25, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Our caregiver, I’ll call her Donna, sees Mom twice a week for a few hours each day. Her total interaction is eight hours a week. We talk with her employer at least once a week to get feedback, and we make sure that certain things are being accomplished for Mom (laundry, cooking, etc.).
Mom initially wanted nothing to do with a person coming to help her in her home. Today, a few months after Donna has become a part of Mom’s new routine, she looks forward to seeing her. She looks forward to cooking with her, and tells me about the projects they are doing together.
Keep sharing your stories with us. We enjoy hearing from you.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Mom now knows that Saturday is the day when Sharon (not her real name) arrives. So Mom tries to make sure the house is clean before she gets there. On one hand, it misses the point. On the other hand, however, it’s just fine. Mom always had a spotless house. This gives her a particular reason to keep things ‘just so.’
Some of us want to ramp up the care-giver’s responsibilities by having her come in two days a week. Then three days a week, and so on. Others are not as anxious to make that move. Money is not a motivating factor. It’s not the expense. It is the idea that Mom is losing more autonomy.
Do we continue to take more of her self-reliance and autonomy away from her in the name of ‘protecting’ her? It is not an easy call. No one is pushing back from adding the second day each week with their words. But there is not a clear agreement between all three of us (and we are all named as the attorney-in-fact, in succession). So we’re not sure of the next step.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Friday, July 13, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
All three of us (brothers) are trying to put the best face on helping Mom. In- home care now seems inevitable. We’re interviewing candidates, trying out friends of the family, taking Mom’s ideas into account, and hoping for the best.
As we look at bringing a stranger into her life to help care for her basic needs, we’re also living our own, individual lives. Busy at work. Sometimes at play. We’re trying to give Mom our best without missing a beat in our personal and professional lives. At times, we’re doing both badly. At least that is how it feels.
The Bible says that it is God who gives the increase, it is He who makes our plans prosper. We’re doing our best, trying to choose someone to help, and looking for a ‘plan’ that will work. Trusting in God may sound like a cop out to some, but to me, today, it is the best place I can be. The only place I can be. . .
I signed in to www.care.com. If you have not checked them out, you should do so if your journey is anything like ours. Care.com is a company that I have recommended to many of my clients, and now I am using myself. They allow individuals like myself to post care-giving opportunities. They also allow care-givers, after proper vetting, to post their resumes.
www.care.com has been our starting point, along with family friends. Check them out, and thank you for all the kind words since my last post.